oh no Dr. please jaldi karo

oh no blood?

oh ahhhhh bahut dard ho raha hai

jaldi nikaalo na


Dr. yeh lo nikaal dia..... khuda daant ka dard bhi kissi ko na de

BOY: poora under gaya?
GIRL: ouch...... haaan

BOY:tight hay zyada lug tou nahi raha na?

GIRL:haan thora thora.




Boy: oye maqsood baji ko 8 number wala joota dikha

A girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji
Girl: sardar ji mein tuwadi nakal mar laa?..
Sardar: ahoo to meri nakel maar lay fair mein teri asal mar lawa ga...

pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mal lo
phir tokh laghao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uf
kithna muskhil ha soi ma dagha dalna

Chachi: Hum chaat ki dukaan kholenge!!
Bhatija: Thik Hai.
Chachi: Hum 10/- plate chaat bechenge.
Bhatija: Main dukaan pe board laga dunga k "10/- me chachi ki chaat lo"

mangta hoon to deti nahi
jawab meri baat ka
deti ho to khara ho jata hai
rom rom jazbaat ka
kyun kehte ho bar bar daloo
baloo mein phool ghulab ka

Kuch log thodi der karte hain….
Kuch log 2-3 dafa karte hain,
aur kuch saari raat karte rahate hain,
tab jaakar hota hai….
unka…
Mobile Charge…!

5 inch ki jaga ab 7 inch ka.
Pehle se mota or Xtra lamba.
Jo ap ko day pehle se ziada maza.
sakun or aram ki zamanat.
Master ka .
Molti foam.

Punjabi salesman bargaining wid lady
baji dopaty vichon sanu kuj ni labda, kameez vichon fair ve do lab jande ne, shalwar vich tay sanu paliyon pana painda aey.

5 inch ka hai,
size normal hai,
mazboot hai,
ziyada mota bhi nahi,
2 ladkiyan dekh choki hain,
lena hai to bolo,
mera LG KG 195
full time masti non stop fun.

She Is Hot!
She Is Sweet!
She Always Need A Lip 4 Kiss
Whole World Mad 4 Her!
Who!
Who Is She?

Do U Know?


"Tea"
Chai Piyo, Mast
Jiyo...............................

Muj Se Shadi Kerogi.
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Film Dekhi Hai Tum Ne?

Buhat Dukh Hoa Tumharay Husband Ke Death Ka..
Chalo Ab Udas Mat Ho,Mein Hon Na.
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Film Dekhnay Chalatay Hain.

ji karta he k khara kar k ap k hath m pakra don or ap zor zor...


sey hilaooo or bolo...
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"" IS PARCHAM K SAYE TALE HAM IK HEIN HAM IK HEIN""

Jab meri maut ho jaye,to mera janaza uski gali ke saamne se lejana aur jab le ke jao to mera nikal ke hiladena........Kya?
`


abe haath.

Jealous Husband;

"Aaj tk tum kitney logo k saath soyi ho?"

Wife; Such bolon tu sirf aap k sath hi soyi hon baki sabhi k sath sari sari raat jagti thi....

I"m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine

sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin

me 4 taking the piss

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case

against me "possession of good looks".i"m doomed! i need

someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 -

distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex

appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom

Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 33 runs.
Dravid: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes, but the students understand the importance of scoring 33.

To be a "Good professional", always start to study late for "Exams". Because it teaches how to manage "Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!

Burraaah......


Sara syllabus padh liya...


Bas books aur notes padhne reh gaye hain...

Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

Class ki har ladki ek phool hai, Usse chahna ek bhool hai. Jo inki soch mein gul hai, Samjho uski Compartment ke chances full hai..

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: "mere paas degree hai, knowledge hai, 4 logon mein baithne ki izzat hai. Tere paas kya hai?".
Sweeper: Mere paas naukri hai.

papers ki roti notes ka achar
tubelite k kirne questions ki bahar
teachers ki dushmani dosto ka pyaar
so mubarak ho ap ko exams ka tehwar

Students martay nahi, zinda dafnaye jate hain, har 5 mahino me tarpaye jate hen, kafan khol kay dekho, to wo kabar me b paper aur assignment likhte hue paye jatein hain

College ka 1 student university k toilet me gaya. Jab andr ja k eash commod pr baitha to samne dekha. Likha tha: itna zor taleem par dete to exam me A1 grade lete.

33 mrks ki kimat tum kya jano lecturer babu.
Board ka ashirwad hota ha 33 mrks.
Student k sar ka taj hota ha 33 mrks.
Failure ka khawab hota ha 33 mrks!

Ek Student Dusre Se:
Aaj Kuch Khatarnak Kaam Karne Ka Maan Kar Raha Hai

2nd Student:
To Phir Chal Kar Thori Pathai Karte Hein . . .

My Nights r going SleepLess,
My Days r going UseLes,
I hv becom SpeachLess,
So,
I asked My Heart;
is it Love?
Heart replied

"Na Putr Paper a gaye ne.."

Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

Success is the derivative function of calculated efforts. So, Effort + Effort + Effort + ..... = Success... Success in your exams.

If people says you are crazy, be patiend.
if they say you are monkey, relax. if they say you are stupid,be cool but if they say you are smart, Thapad maar sale ko.

Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to "HARI Mirchi..."-hai

If today any 1 talks & praises u 4 ur
1) gud looks
2 ) nature
3 ) style
4 ) attitude,
kick them off.
How dare they fool u before april 1st.

M Going To switzerland...



Dont Worry The Flight Is After 06 Days.



Surprised?




After 06 Days Is 1st April,U Ar 1st Fool Of 2009.IN ADVANCE.

Some friends are remembered

Some friends are remembered because of their smile. Some friends are remembered because of their style. But you are remembered because you are so nice to remember. Take care.

some thing can not be described....

some thing can not be described......
some moments can not be shared......
some feelings can not be explained....
some words can not be described.....
but.....nothing can be hidden from a true friend..

i sent u an SMS,

i sent u an SMS, It was flying in the air and it met to your SMS, which was also fyling towards me, they both fall in Love and disappeared there forever

Friendship is not a game to play

Friendship is not a game to play, It is not a word to say, It doesn't start on March and ends on May, It is tomorrow, yesterday, today and everyday.

If u read,u owe me a HUG,

If u read,u owe me a HUG,
if u delete,u Owe me a kiss,
if u save,u owe me a DATE,
if u return txt msg 2 me,
u OWE me All,
bt if u ignore,
U r MINe!
So wat will U do?

what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S

what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...(In Hindi)

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?(In Hindi)

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.

sardarji filling a job application

Sardarji is filling up a job application………………………
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected…………………
After much thought he writes: […]

b.com final year

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar: B.Com final year”

due to rain no match

teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”

sardar sitting on the mountain

sardar sitting on the top of the mountain and studying…when a person asked what he was doing there,he replied Oye! higher studies yaar.

very high Airtel Tower

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said “India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

Sardarji and his wife

Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto…

Mirror

If U Look At Me
I’ll Look At U
If U Grin At Me
I’ll Grin At U
I U’ll Dance
I’ll Also Dance
Bt If U Shout,
Sorry, I can’t. Who am I ?
Answer: Mirror

Marry

Marry’s father has four daughters
1]ABCGS
2]AZBCX
3]AWXJZ
4]????
WAT IS THE NAME OF THE FOURTH ONE?
????
????
??
??
??
?/
?/
??
?/
Ans: Marry

think and tell

tell the spelling of any girl’s name in which the vowels(a,e,i,o,u) doesnt come….. eg:nirali… in this name the vowels like i n a r used…. they shud not occurrrr…. plz thnk n reply…..

what is love??

If U Love someone,
then
Arrange these letters in three words
“EUENYMROIA”
If U can’t Answer,then U don’t know what is Love.
Its a challenge..

Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,
Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,
Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,
Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha

Dair tak…

Lagta nahi k sath nibhae ga dair tak,
Lekin wo muJh ko bhool na pae ga dair tak. . .

Jo bhi qareeb aae ga us k usay zaror,
wo meri dastan sunae ga dair tak

Dhonde ga wo muJhe inhi galiyon me aik “DIN”
Dhonde ga,or muJh ko na paae ga dair tak

Me sahilon ki rait pe likhon gi us ka naam,
Wo pani pe mire naqsh banaega dair tak..

Kis haal me hon us k baad main,
Sun kar usey yaqeen na Aaega dair tak.

Lout aana

Jab kabhi tera dil ghabraey ager tujhe meri yad aay tu lou ana,
Ager tera sath koi choray ager koi tera dil turey tu lout ana,

Kuch waqat achca guzra hai sath tumare
who waqat jab yaad aay tu lout ana,

Yahe waqat akser sath nai dete dil walon ka,
pas reh kar b ager koi sath na de tu lout ana,

Na jane teri itni yad q atti hai,
Ager yahe pegaam pohnch jaye tu lout ana,

Meri saadgi mera jurm hay

Yahan chahton ka sila nahi,
yahan dosti ka maza nahi,

yahan janay kesi hawa chali,
Rahi dostoon main wafa nahi,

yahan jal gaya mera aashiana,
Abhi badlon ko pata nahi,

Teray dar pe dastak de sakon,
ye haq to tum ne dia nahi,

Main raahi hon raah-e-umeed ka,
Mujhay manzilon ka pata nahi,

Be bas hon jahan main isqader,
jaisay mera koi “KHUDA” nahi,

MERI SAADGI MERA JURM HAi,
KOI AUR MERI KHATA NAHI.

Ashkon ka sabab tanhai

Har RAAT Gham-e-Tanhaai,
Har SHAAM teri yaad aai,

Laakh tujhey bhulana chaha,
Us se barrh kar teri YAAD aai.,

Tuj se koi UMEED bhi wabasta nahi,
Iss DUKH se meri Aankh Bhar aai,

Logon ne poocha ASHKON ka sabab?
Bus Mujhe kehna para…!! “TANHAAI”

Wo sunta to main kehta

Wo sunta to main kehta,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha,
wo pal bhar ko jo ruk jata,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha.

kamai zindagi bhar ki,usi k naam to kar di,
mujhe kuch aur karna tha,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha.

kahan us ne suni meri,suni b un-suni kar di,
usay maloom tha itna,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha.

meray dil main jo dar aya,koi mujh main b dar aya,
waheen ik rabta toota,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha.

rawan tha piyar NUS NUS main,bohat qurbat thi apis main,
usay kuch aur sun-ana tha,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha.

ghalat fehmi ne baton ko barha dala younhi warna,
kaha kuch tha,wo kuch samjha,mujhe kuch aur kehna tha.

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

I'm a killer, i kill people for money
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

Motivational Thought
In 1980 IDBI bank rejected loan 4 ambani.in 2008 Mukhaish Ambani was planing 2 buy IDBI bank.
this shows nothing is impossibal.
now in 2009 City bank rejected loan 4 me.but in 2020 i m planing 2
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Apply 4 loan again.

BE REALISTIC YAR.

Is se bari Dehshat Gardi or kya ho sakti he Faraz
Washroom ke lote me koi tehzab dal gaya

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: why three?

Husband: 1 for you and two for your parents

Aey khuda

sari khushian
Sari daulat
Sari izzat
Sari rematain
Sari barkatain
Sari mohabbaten
Sari chahatain

De de us ko
jis k dil main hai.........
.........
Dard-e-Disco:->;)

titanic was sinking. romeo; juliet i love u. if i cant live with u then i am ready to die with u. juliet; romeo i love u but i love my life more and i can live without u. saying this juliet jumps out of titanic and swims to the ground.

Milne ki tamanna
lekar aaya hai ye sms,
Chehre pe smile ki
tamanna lekar
aaya hai ye sms,
Bhule nahi hai yar tuje,
Ye yaad dilane aaya hai
ye SMS.

A rupee is easy 2 earn...
but a smile is hard 2 find...
rupee loses its value...
smile increases its worth..
i lost a rupee when i sms u...
but who cares!
i won ur smile...

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